Nine years and three months is the amount of time you left this earth while asleep in bed. No matter my age I’ll always remember March 10th of 2010 at 6:30pm. That was the start of the years long black hole I’d find myself in until I was 23.
Many people have said things about you since I could remember. Some were true. Most were made to bring you down when you were in the middle of building yourself back up which I later understood as well. You, by no means, were perfect. Not. At. All. I saw how humorously frustrated you were when you lost an inch going from 6″2′ to 6″1′. You cursed under your breath because you were getting older. I saw you cry struggling to play your guitar caused by myopathy. I remember seeing you extremely shocked that I stood up to your destructive behavior while threatening to leave and you finally saying “Angelface … I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this but I’ll never act that way on Gods word. Forgive me.” Most of all I remember you always making sure I always did my work, practice my vocals and piano, and make sure I remembered my nightly prayers after you’d play me your ‘daddy version’ of Stevie Ray Vaughn’s Pride and Joy! Only you and God knew how strong I was before I even understood the definition. The reasons why would show up later in my life. Being a child I understood how overly talented you were and how happy you lit up on stages and playing your humongous guitar. I remember how you laughed as my sibling and I sang the Barney song and Walk the Dinosaur by Was Not Was.
At the very end of everything I’ve learned with only four months until I’m 26 that I have to do things for myself as selfish as it may momentarily seem to others in order to grasp and retain my own happiness and respect for myself. You were actual, genuine living proof and for that I am forever thankful. Daddy, the person I saw being a happy, talented father is the kind of man I’ve always admired to have in my life but that is a difficult check to cash and no man is what I envisioned to be because of that. As I get older I’ll always remember the fond memories as well as the memories that had hard lessons. You were my guitar man and will always be no matter what! Hoping you’re hanging with grandma, grandpa, and titi Edna.
Love you bunches, Angelface